Saturday, April 20, 2013

Opening this Weekend - Morgan Freeman Wears Stupid Looking Sunglasses Underground For Some Reason

When will Tom Cruise win an Oscar for best runner?  He's just so damn good at it.
Opening - Oblivion

Googan Suggestion - Slim pickings this week dweebs.  But see Oblivion.  Tom Cruise demands validation.

"Sir... my boner just ruptured."
Synopsis - "Jack Harper is one of the last drone repairmen stationed on Earth. Part of a massive operation to extract vital resources after decades of war with a terrifying threat known as the Scavs, Jack’s mission is nearly complete. But when he rescues a beautiful stranger from a downed spacecraft, , [sic] he begins to question everything he knows." [Universal Pictures]

Metasore - 55

Thoughts - Okay, so this may be a reach, but I kind of feel like Tom Cruise is a much more polished version of Nic Cage.  Crazy, makes way too many movies, but every, I don't know, six or seven years, can spit out a pretty awesome performance (Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call for Cage, Collateral and Magnolia for Cruise).  Naturally, this isn't one of them.

This movie looks very... sleek.  A little too sleek.  As if the creative team put all the concept art and costumes together first and then were like, "Oh, sh*t, I think we need a story."  I mean hey, Kosinski clearly has a very sharp visual eye.  And I think it's pretty cool that he utilizes innovative electronic groups for his scores (M83 for Oblivion and Daft Punk for Tron: Legacy).  But dude, let's be real.  Tron: Legacy suuuuuuuucked.  Like I turned it off after thirty-five minutes WHILE f*cked up.  As in I literally made a conscious decision to shut the movie off while simultaneously killing my brain with foreign substances.

What I'm saying is just because you put a nice sheen on a car doesn't exactly mean it's going to run very well once you hop on the highway.

That was a pretty good metaphor, huh?  Whatever, let's go Knicks.

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