 |
| "You go 'head bro." "Umm, after you bro." Yeah, I think that was an actual quote |
So Rick and The Governor are in this
cabin and they’re all like “WHY YOU BLOWING UP MY PEEPS, BRO?!? NOT COOL!!!”
And then Andrea’s like “Come on boys, play nice,” and Rick and The
Governor are all like “SHUT UP STUPID GIRL!!! YOU’RE A GIRL SO YOU’RE
STUPID!!!” And then Rick was like “Hey
GovernHER, I have a bigger D-I-C-K than you!”
But then the Governor was all like “Nuh-uh, I have a bigger D-I-C-K THAN
YOU!!! AND I have an eyepatch!” And Rick was like, “Oh yeah,
well I have STUBBLE!” And then
at the same exact time they were like, “LET’S CHUG WHISKEY!!!” And then they totally
bro’d out and made Andrea leave.
Meanwhile Daryl and this
Hispanic dude were all like “anything you can do I can do better” and started
killing zombies in super frat ways: Baseball
bat? Check. Crossbow? Check.
Flying serrated blade to face from a distance? Check check check. But then they were like, “You kill zombies
good, bro, maybe we don’t have to be haters” and Daryl was like, “Wanna smoke
these zombie dude’s cigs?” and the Hispanic guy was like “Nah, player, I only
smoke menthols,” and I think that's because he’s a minority but I'm not sure... but aaaaaaanyway later he’s like “F*ck it,
let me get that” and they share a cigarette because it’s symbolic and ironic
and they’re both like “Zombies totes blow, bro.”
On the other side of the cabin the Herschel and the creepy nerd are talking and the nerd’s like “Hey, old man, let
me see what’s left of your leg” and the Hershel's like “Get the f*ck away from
me, weirdo,” but then he makes a joke and starts laughing because without humor where's our
humanity? I know, sh*t's deep.
At the prison Merle is still king of
the douches and they have to subdue him because a crazy redneck dickhole with a
knife welded to his arm is pretty anti-cool in most people’s book. Then Glen goes on watch to brood alone because
he’s becoming a man and a leader and that’s how you know someone is becoming a
man and a leader in a drama. Then Maggie comes out and she’s all like “Loves you” and
he’s like “Loves you back” and then she’s like “You hear that?” and Glenn’s
like “What?” and Maggie’s all like “CHOO-CHOO!
That’s the train to pound-town, boyfriend” and they totes start making out but then
they’re like “Wooh, no doing it front of zombies, let’s go into this old,
creepy and definitely sanitary prison garage instead” and then I was all like
“Ahh, hells yeah” and closed my shades and- I mean wait, what?
In the final scene Rick and Hershel are like "Should we give up Michonne to theoretically save everyone else? This is an ethical dilemma and we have a pretty shoddy record when it comes to this kind of sh*t." And then I turned it off because I don't really care and I want to read A Dance with Dragons because Game of Thrones in any format is waaaaaaaay better than The Walking Dead in any format.
*starts internet nerd war, wins*
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