|Future Don Draper observes future Roger Sterling prepare him a future Old Fashioned|
0:00-0:20 - So in case you guys forgot, he's still Tony Stark. And Iron Man.
0:21-0:26 - Except now he does meth apparently. Because he can't sleep. You guys get it? Oh f*ck you, whatever, I've had a long day.
0:27-0:38 - God, I really hope it's Ted Nugent under that retarded-looking red white and steel Iron Man suit. "OOOOOHHHHH LOOOOOOORD, GONNA KILL ME SOME SLANTY-EYED PIG-F*CKERS, OH YES I AM LOOOORD!!! *Fires bow and arrow at Mexican delivery guy*
0:39-0:50 - Hmm, anyone else getting a shitty Joker vibe from The Mandarin? In fact, I'm kinda getting a whole shitty The Dark Knight feel from this. STOP BEING POSERS, BRO!
0:51-0:56 - This Mandarin dude is a diiiiiiiiiick. Right?
0:57-1:01 - Hi Guy Pearce! Hey, cool hair! Very slick! Now can you go back to making movies like The Proposition again? Yeah? Awesome! K thanks bye!
1:02-1:05 - "Where is Tony Stark?" = "Where is the Batman?" They're not even trying. God damn it.
1:06-1:11 - White dudes brooding over their white girls. #WhiteDudeProblems #Entourage
1:12-1:22 - "Today... is the first day... of the rest... of your life." Yeah, okay, sorry to be that guy, but isn't every day the first day of the rest of your life? I mean I'm no Stephen Hawking, but I'm pretty sure that's how the whole concept of time works. Yeah but no, but cool line, though. Very menacing.
1:23-1:47 - So I saw The Avengers and everything, and I don't know if this takes place before that or whatever, but if not, how the f*ck was Iron Man able to absolutely handle the sh*t out of a bunch war-obsessed aliens aided by magic and other crazy nonsense, and yet appears here to get his ass completely handed to him by some weird-ass, ethnically-confused terrorist with a sh*tty haircut and worse fashion sense? Come on bros, a little consistency is all I'm asking for.
1:48-1:54 - Okay, I take back the fashion quip back. Those shades are pretty tight.
1:55-2:31 - Yup, it's defintely an Iron Man movie. Not much more to say here. But just remember this. It now... comes... WITH GRAVITAS!!!
*Gigantic fart sound*