Saturday, March 9, 2013

Opening this Weekend (3/8 - 3/10)

"Franco and his witches.  Y'know, like bitches?  Anyone?" *taps mic*  "Is this thing on?"
Opening - Oz the Great and Powerful, Dead Man Down

Googan suggestion for the weekend - Well, I'm going to my parents' place this weekend so my Mom's probably going to drag me to Oz... so yeah, you should be a good son (or daughter if that's your fancy) like me and take your Mom to a movie.  Boom.

Oz the Great and Powerful
Synopsis - "This is a prequel to The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (1900) by L. Frank Baum, told from the point of view of the Wizard. It tells how the Wizard arrived in Oz and how he became the ruler."
Metascore - 44

Thoughts - Doesn't this look just like Alice in Wonderland?  And that movie looked like a visual raping of the eyes like I've never seen before.  So yeah, I don't know, I'm not really into having my eyes raped.  And while we're on this topic, I've always thought the original is a classic not so much because of the revolutionary visuals and effects (obviously those helped), but more because it's so damn charming and engrossing, especially if you're a kid.  How exactly do you replicate something like that?  Especially when you replace the most charming character from the original with a dude who makes it seem like it's his profession to not give a sh*t about anything he does (which is precisely why I'm such a huge Franco fan, but I don't really see it working here).  I guess what I'm trying to say is this looks like it's set up for failure.  Even with the massive budget I'm sure it'll still make money, but in terms quality, don't expect anything close to the original.

Dead Man Down
"Sup, bro." "Nothing, bro." "Sick zip-up, bro." "Thanks, bro."
Synopsis - "In New York City, a crime lord's right-hand man is seduced by one of his boss's victims, a woman seeking retribution." (This is neither here nor there, but dudes getting seduced seems to be a pretty common concept in movies and yet it's NEVER come CLOSE to ever happening to me.  I mean what's up with that?  So ladies, if you're out there, please seduce me.  I want to feel loved -ed.)  

Metascore - 42

Thoughts - I was going to do a trailer breakdown of this movie but I fell asleep midway through watching it for the first time (hi-oh!).  But seriously folks, this looks more generic than a Joe Buck home run call in the middle of July.  Message to all directors out there:  unless you're doing something unique and cool or unique and goofy (ala Mann, Tarantino, the Coen brothers), the whole hitman concept is going to fall supremely flat.  It's been done a thousand times before.  You got to bring something new to the table.  You feel me?  A'ight, Seacrest out.  

No comments:

Post a Comment