Episode Recap - The Walking Dead (3.9 - 3.11)

Dude's an amazing shot considering he has zero depth perception

Apologies for being late to the game on the return of TWD.  I'm hoping to do brief "recaps" (aka me bitching about how crappy all of the characters are) of each episode for the second half of Season 3, but that requires consistency and work ethic, which are the exact reasons I don't work at Nathan's anymore.  Well, that and the HR complaints.

Before we get started though, can I just say how annoying breaking up a season is?  I mean yeah, I understand it gets you more episodes and run time and whatever, but dude, it just kills any momentum the show has going for it.  Especially a show like TWD where action and plot development are key to a successful season.  I guess what I'm trying to say is, AMC, you guys are really fantastic at being boners sometimes.

Alright, but enough of my gripin' and snipin'.  Let's get to it.

 Rick - So is Rick crazy?  Yeah Rick's crazy.  Which is nice, because it's about time someone's gone absolutely batsh*t insane on this show.  I mean it's a zombie f*cking apocalypse, for Christ's sake!  In the real world people go nuts and shoot up offices when there's no skim milk in the company fridge.  Realism!  I demand it!

Andrea - Ugh, she's the worst, isn't she?  We get it, you're conflicted.  You're also mind-numbingly selfish and as a niave as a three year old on an easter egg hunt.  GOOOOOO AWAY.

The Governor - It's about time we had a character like this.  Evil, ruthless and most importantly... NOT.  F*CKING.  ANNOYING.  He's easy to root against, and yet at the same time we're all kind of glancing at each other going, "y'know, I really wouldn't mind if this guy pulls it out..."  Oh yeah, and he has a patch.  Patches are awesome.

Daryl - Probably the most likable character on the show at this point.  His quips are the best, his facial expressions are hilarious, and the guy continually comes out of nowhere to save peoples' lives.  The redneck loner with a heart of gold.  And a crossbow.

Merle - I am so done with you, man.  Yeah, congrats, you're a smart-ass redneck.  That trope isn't tired at all by now.  And realistically speaking, how does someone maintain this completely insufferable jackass attitude after all the crap he's gone through?  Like, I don't know, make him really sullen or something.  Anything.  Work with me here writers.

Glenn and Maggie - Speaking of crappy writing, what the hell was going on with these two being all pissy-pissy with one another?  So she was pissed because he was being too prideful and not concerned enough about her welfare?  I think?  I don't know, that was weird.  Is it too much to ask for this show to have a decent female character?

Herschel - The man may not have a leg, but he does a sweet mini-pony tail and melodic southern baritone.  The soul of the group keeps on chugging along.

Michonne - I'm really annoyed how underutilized Michonne has been.  I mean a badass dreadlocked chick with a samurai sword?  It's like Tarantino and Romero had some strange-ass love child and handed it to these guys on a silver platter and now they're just letting it waste away in a freezer.  Was that a weird analogy?  That was a weird analogy.

Carl - Speaking of underutilized, where's Carl been?  At the same time, at least he isn't annoying the sh*t out of everyone.  And that's fine with me.

Carol - How the hell are you still alive?  

Tyreese and Co. - Rick, you're an idiot.  You threw out Cutty.  Dude used to be top muscle for Avon Barksdale.  AVON F*CKING BARKSDALE.  Unbelievable.

Alright, until next week.  Possibly predictions?   I predict it.