Saturday, February 9, 2013

Han Solo and Boba Fett Standalone Films Confirmed

Your mom's gynecologist wears the same thing during her exams
Man, all this Star Wars news is like crack for movie bloggers.  Mm-mm-mmm.  You bring the spoon, I'll bring the Bic, Shelly's got the rock, gnome sayin'?  I mean, wait, what?

Aaaaaaanyways, unless you're poor and don't have internet access, you've probably heard that fan favorite Star Wars characters Han Solo and Boba Fett are confirmed to be getting their own standalone films, ala X-Men Origins: Wolverine (which TOTALLY sucked).  The Solo film is rumored to be centered around the character when he was in his late teens/early twenties and the Fett storyline is supposed to be based sometime during the original trilogy.

Nothing very surprising here.  Outside of Darth Vader and possibly Yoda (who has also been rumored to be a candidate for a standalone file), these are probably the two most popular Star Wars characters, at least among the geeks.  Disney is well aware of this and their smartly building up huge buzz early and hard for the whole overarching franchise.

So is this a good idea?  Ehh, I'm bearish.  Both characters, from an archetype perspective, are pretty similar:  amoral drifters out for themselves, ala Clint Eastwood's iconic Man With No Name.  Solo's greatest asset, by far, was that he was originally portrayed by professional panties dropper Harrison Ford.  Ford brought an incomparable level of charisma and charm to an otherwise pretty straightforward role that will be extremely difficult to replicate, especially if done by some dorky twenty year old pipsqueak.  Young Indiana Jones?  Yeah, nice try guys.

Fett's a pretty stellar dude, but is the character capable of carrying a full length movie?  I mean the guy looks pretty sweet standing in the background of scenes with his you-best-not-f*ck-with-me-mask and jet pack and sh*t, but cosmetics aside, what's really there?  They've already taken away a lot of his thunder with his lame ass backstory from the prequel movies and I mean, come on, his death involves him plunging into some weird ass pit that resembles your mom's vag (see what I did there?  Tied it back to the original joke I made with the picture.  In the industry we call that a "loop."  No biggie, go 'head and use it if you'd like).

So what's the end game here?  Get ready for a butt-chugging amount of Star Wars and that's about it.

Goog on.

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